My wife and I are foster parents to two great little kids. But they are very active, I must say. I have come to believe that the older one has ADHD. I think I can say this since, over the past 8 years, we have seen 35+ kids come through our house for care, and I have never seen such an active and attention lacking child until now. The scary part of this journey as I deal with this child is that I am hearing my mother's words to me when I was a child. "Can't sit down for just one minute!" "Can't you just stop doing <fill in the blank> and listen for one minute!" "I just told you not to <fill in the blank>!" "Please, please just do <fill in the blank> for me NOW! I think you get the idea.
In order to deal with the child in our care now, I decided to research "How to deal with kids with ADHD." I was surprised to read that some of the items on the check list, I had and still have. My kids think that I MUST HAVE had ADHD as a child. I simply dismissed that idea - "I am normal and not out of control. Everything is fine, thank you very much." Then I talked to one of my brothers and he told me "Yup, we've got it" and then he said, "I think you were worse than I was." (His child was properly diagnosed with ADHD as a young child and received proper treatment. He went from a D- student to an A+ student. Wow). ADHD is hereditary I learned.
I have more compassion for our (foster) children now. I am going back into my childhood and trying to remember all those things that frustrated me so greatly as a child and trying to do a better job. I now understand some of my short falls (and there are many) better and can at least put a label on it. I no longer deny that I may have had ADHD as a child (still not proven) and now just try to move forward with this fresh new knowledge. I also now realize that I have developed coping mechanisms over the years not realizing why things worked for me in such different ways than other people, they just did.
I will be push 60 years old next year, and I find that we can still learn about ourselves. You can teach an old dog new tricks. What was fascinating about this was that I never looked to blame God for any of this. Regardless of my earlier behaviors and the challenges that I presented to my parents and my family, God was with me through it all. Do I wish that things could have been different when I was a child? Yes. But on the other hand, it has made me the person I am today. God has written it on my heart to understand this little child, not only to help this child in care in our home, but to help God's little child in His care - me. I see these kids in care (them and me) with different eyes now. I know how the little ones feel and I can relate to them now. Thank you God for this late teaching. Better now than never. And I am still works in progress.
Tuesday 19 June 2018
Tuesday 2 May 2017
The Challenge of Change...
One of the greatest challenges for churches is to let go of the familiar, safe past and move into a new unknown future. It handcuffs people. For the past 40 to 50 years, many churches held the line to their version of authentic worship; and it worked for them. However, these same churches are now noticing that their communities are lacking young families and teenagers. Now the mantra of these churches has become; "We need to change." I just wish they would leave it at that and embrace the changes that are needed. The mantra in reality is; "We need to change as long as nothing changes."
I remember being a student minister at a church in Ottawa. It was a large, beautiful church with an impressive interior and sound. It its glory years, a 1000 people would cram in to experience a Christmas service; 700 to 800 people was not uncommon. In its final years, a group of 45 to 50 faithful people would gather every Sunday to experience their "traditional worship" (I'm guessing that never changed in the past 30 to 40 years). Change was something that was not tolerated. Some were proud to "run out those who tried... when you come here, you do as we do." The last service ever to be worshiped there was glorious. But it ended in the exercise of "wrapping chains around the doors" as the final symbol of closure. The memories still haunt me this day of all these faithful people, weeping uncontrollable as their church died that night. They never wanted to change, yet they were experiencing the biggest change of their lives. And all those sacred items are now gone.
These stories continue today across this country. Many churches now have 40 to 50 years of "catching up" to do. However, they are only willing to change at a pace that snails have no problems over-coming. You find the congregation's "sacred cows" scattered all over the church; flags, plaques, stained glass windows, pews, tables, pictures of the past, gowns and robes, the organ and the hymnals, traditions of lighting candles, when to pray, how to pray, and the list goes on. And when a change is required that challenges the mere existence of any of these things, someone is (or many people are) going to get crucified.
It is amazing what power these sacred items hold. I sometimes believe that they have become more powerful than the Word of God or the Works of the Holy Spirit. People hold so tight to these icons of the church that disposing of them means to them that "God is leaving the building". The notion of discussing why these things need to be challenged in order to solve other issues simply is not tolerated. Removal of these things become the new problem.
I guess that is why I am glad to be where I am. I have not found too many of these "sacred cows" here at KCC (but there are a few hanging around). At least people here are more than willing to discuss the issues at hand and are willing to come up with workable solutions that solve problems. It seems to be respectful, for the most.
Moving forward is a huge challenge for many congregations. I would encourage members to embrace a lot of little changes in the life of a church, rather than one supper large one. And in the end, you are going to loose it all anyways. And the mission of God will continue, with or without you.
I remember being a student minister at a church in Ottawa. It was a large, beautiful church with an impressive interior and sound. It its glory years, a 1000 people would cram in to experience a Christmas service; 700 to 800 people was not uncommon. In its final years, a group of 45 to 50 faithful people would gather every Sunday to experience their "traditional worship" (I'm guessing that never changed in the past 30 to 40 years). Change was something that was not tolerated. Some were proud to "run out those who tried... when you come here, you do as we do." The last service ever to be worshiped there was glorious. But it ended in the exercise of "wrapping chains around the doors" as the final symbol of closure. The memories still haunt me this day of all these faithful people, weeping uncontrollable as their church died that night. They never wanted to change, yet they were experiencing the biggest change of their lives. And all those sacred items are now gone.
These stories continue today across this country. Many churches now have 40 to 50 years of "catching up" to do. However, they are only willing to change at a pace that snails have no problems over-coming. You find the congregation's "sacred cows" scattered all over the church; flags, plaques, stained glass windows, pews, tables, pictures of the past, gowns and robes, the organ and the hymnals, traditions of lighting candles, when to pray, how to pray, and the list goes on. And when a change is required that challenges the mere existence of any of these things, someone is (or many people are) going to get crucified.
It is amazing what power these sacred items hold. I sometimes believe that they have become more powerful than the Word of God or the Works of the Holy Spirit. People hold so tight to these icons of the church that disposing of them means to them that "God is leaving the building". The notion of discussing why these things need to be challenged in order to solve other issues simply is not tolerated. Removal of these things become the new problem.
I guess that is why I am glad to be where I am. I have not found too many of these "sacred cows" here at KCC (but there are a few hanging around). At least people here are more than willing to discuss the issues at hand and are willing to come up with workable solutions that solve problems. It seems to be respectful, for the most.
Moving forward is a huge challenge for many congregations. I would encourage members to embrace a lot of little changes in the life of a church, rather than one supper large one. And in the end, you are going to loose it all anyways. And the mission of God will continue, with or without you.
Thursday 23 March 2017
There has to be a first time...
The first couple of verses in the book of Genesis of the Scriptures of the Hebrew people speaks to a new beginning coming out of chaos. That is what I am feeling about this blogging attempt. I am not a gifted writer as many others are. You will never read a novel or short story with my name as the author. That is not who I am.
But I do like conversations with people who have lots of honest, interesting questions - especially about their journey of faith. And I mean honest, interesting questions since I have had conversations with people who are more interested in making a point and trying to put others down than trying to learn about each other. We don't always have to agree about certain points in life. Life would be boring if we all believed the exact same things. As people, we are not wired that way.
So, I am attempting to start this blog from some form of chaos within my non-writer world and hope and pray that, with God's help, there can be some form of honest dialog and exchange of what it means to struggle with people's journey of faith.
But I do like conversations with people who have lots of honest, interesting questions - especially about their journey of faith. And I mean honest, interesting questions since I have had conversations with people who are more interested in making a point and trying to put others down than trying to learn about each other. We don't always have to agree about certain points in life. Life would be boring if we all believed the exact same things. As people, we are not wired that way.
So, I am attempting to start this blog from some form of chaos within my non-writer world and hope and pray that, with God's help, there can be some form of honest dialog and exchange of what it means to struggle with people's journey of faith.
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